Just as i had guessed,
He had a New stead. :)
Anw, it's close to 2nd month fr me, to be s. on 23. Hooray.

Life's a joke.
If i say it doesn't matter, wld you believe?
So what fr, wna know if you don't.

Puffy eyes, ohgod.

Today, sch.
Me: My eyes very puffy right. Omgz (Merely asking, cause eyes ached)
Viv: Huh, why leh? You cry lastnight huh?!
Me: No lah. (Keeps denying)
Thnks viv, atleast i felt some concern aft a long night. Ahah ;D

Sch was, hyper.
Got back results and got 7th in class.
I'm so sad .. I expected much higher.
Not, 7th frm th bottom. :(
Later, meeting bestfrens i think.
In like 15mins, teehee.

----------

I've decided. To nvr see this f-kup family. :( So, as and when I can, I wldn't go find them, no matter what. Cal me childish. Fr as long as I can avoid, I'll avoid tht bitch.Bitch, you just dno hw much I hate you yet love you at th same time. How much I'm grateful to you as a daughter. You dno anything. I'm really tired of all yr nonsenses. You know I don't wna scold you de. Bt ... Thre's limit to everything. Once you climb over it, it's over. I'm really tired. I hate you. I just don't feel like ever talking to you again. No more laughters, no more smiles, no more happiness, no more jokes w/ you. No more. I just hate you. I wish i can like not ask you fr anything and just drift apart frm you. Don't be yr daughter also good. But thre's so many to ask to get thru you. Aft all you're my mother. This is sucha fix. Maybe I shld just give up everything? Once i do so, i'll really just treat you as non-existant. Probably, just answering some of yr qn and by then, you've lost me truely.

Aft all i've done, it just doesn't help at all. I once said before once I cannot take it, bye is th daughter you have. This is th time. ): So exasperating. Fr you'll NVR KNOW just hw much i always tear aft each quarrel w/ you. No more is those tears, so what if you gave birth to me. So what. It's nt bigfuck. I nvr ask you to. I didn't want to be placed into you and dad's dna and gave birth to me and come to this world right? Bitch, happy now? No one to anger you no one to ask you thing no one to argue w/ you no one fr you to do whatever F* you like. You've lost me, just so much.

I know all th past times i got angry w/ you, in th end somehow we'll be alright. I dno hw long this time it's gna last. Always i'm angry yet aft awhile i'll just forgive you, It's like, i've decided, if i do this each time, when are you gna learn? Prolly. Maybe you won't even give a shit lah, bt whatever. This time, i doubt so? Bt a leopard will nvr change its spots. If you want us to be back, bitch, you'll need far more than this. I know you'll nvr change so you'll be th cause of th strain in our mother-daughter r/s, i swear.

I'm losing almost all will to live. But yet I have to live, contradicting ain't life? Because i don't dare to, because i'm afraid. Because ... Thre's nothing fr me to live fr. One by one go down okay? Just kill me now, pls. ): Kill me before all of whatever belongs to me will be gone, memories is not enough fr me. I'm always selfish. I don't care. I'll be grateful if you do, i promise.



Th world is so big.
Why choose me?

I'll be a changed person, i hope.
Hw long can I run, even if i try.
One day, i'll also run out of energy.
God, try me, I'm not a toy okay?
Stop fooling me arnd by giving me everything,
then later take away everything.
I rather you cast me aside, in tht case. ):

(I know it's wrong to blame him, bt i just dno who else to blame aft all these while. ): )




* Aft today, pls don't mention abt this part of th post to me, cause i know i'll start regreting by then abt this post which I don't want to regret. This is a to-vent-anger-post i guess.