Beautiful lies: I'm so sorry

Hello,

I've made a decision.
And I do hope I won't regret.

And tht is - to quit Basketball.

I guess I still prefer Basketball as a pasttime itself, then as a cca itself. You understand, no?

Yeah, I know in this Cca, I've met many great frens. :) I won't lie tht I won't miss y'all, bt I've to do what's best fr me, I guess.

(Anyway i know this sounds abit lame lah, so if you don't want read, you know you can just don't. So don't say me ah, haha)

* This is gna be wordy and long post

In th first place, I was nvr cut out fr basketball i guess. And even th reason why I joined this cca was cause I wanted a different exposure - a diff cca, instead of having th same one thru primary then secondary. I knew I needed a change, I didn't want myself just struck in tht small square. You understand?

At first, I thought I could make it. When we joined in, all of us Sec ones - I remember, how happy we were. We made frens, frm strangers we slowly became frens and better frens. We got use of each other. And before trainings, we wld go have meals and such. Back then, those Sec Ones who just went in bt didn't receive basketball trgs perior before secondary's (Like me) skills were pile of shiatz - all equally noob. I thought, we cld all train tgt, we cld all try our best tgt. We cld, improve. I looked at one another, I felt relief onto th fact tht atleast I wasn't th only new to basketball kinda person in th team. I sure do miss those times, i swear.

Slowly, I started skipping trgs occassionally. I felt guilty, each time - more and more. Many teammates (Are we considered a team? As th basketball as a whole? Or a team meaning those who played matches and all. If so, I guess I'm nt even in th team) showed their concern, asking why I didn't go and all. Often, I did not know what to say. I know it was my wrong, bt somehow .. I just can't help it. They were so gd, yet I'm actually keep doing this. So, aft skipping trgs and returning to trg, I usually felt awkward. Cause I dno what they'd do, dno anything, I felt just like a stranger. More and more, I grew more distant to th team. One time, two time, three ... Then thre was four, five, and more. I felt like, I cldn't face th team anymore.

Atlast, just as I've start to made effort to go trainings, again. I realise, everyone'd improved. Maybe at th start, it was just physcological, bt no matter what it became a fact soon. And I started feeling demorailized, and discouraged. Each trg proved to tht point even more each time. I thought never mind, anyway I'd never intended to get in the basketball team right from the start. I knew I couldn't made it for matches - I had some kinda phobia towards matches and I tended to get all nervous when I get th ball etc. I just wasn't cut out for matches.

And then, when I told those people who asked me abt team thingz tht I didn't want to get in team neither can I get in anyway (Cause I'm not good at bbal), they told me then what fr join? It's like, you train so hard and thre's no achievements or anything. You wld just be wasting yr time. So get in team lah, blahblahblah, they tried encouraging. But in any way, i just knew I cldn't get in team anyway, right at th spot each time I wld just refuse them. I thought, i didn't mind training hard and at th end, not getting in th team - I wanted that. Each time during matches, I dread when I was called in, I was really like a stranger on court and all. I hate matches.

Finally, I just went training fr th sake of trainings. Infact everything was quite alright until recently this holiday. When Coach put me to train with the Sec Ones. I felt really embarrassing. Then, the feeling of giving up came upon me, once again. I remember that feeling - during many trainings I always had tht feeling.

During afew trgs which I rmb, Sheryl capt always encouraging me. In one time, we had to partner someone and do this particular training and if one of th two drops th ball, both had to run. I partnered Jiexin (Haha) and I kept dropping th ball, saying many sorries to Jiexin and all. Cause we just learned this drill. And y'know, Jiexin was a gd player. And somehow, it was completely my fault. Many many rounds it was, I was completely guilty and yet, despite trying my bestest best I cld nt do it. I was on th veryvery verge of giving up, and Sheryl encouraged me like she did before. And when she spoke to me, tears gathered. Aft tht, she taught me hw to do th drill. Like altho it seemed like nth, but believe me, at tht time it meant alot. And so, I just kept keeping and remembering the promise I made to Sheryl last year - not to give up.

Many times when considering whether to quit basketball, or not. This was one of th factor which held me back. I know it sounds lame and gay, but a promise ; a promise it'll be.

And so ... Now is th time. I'm going to quit basketball ...
I just know, and hope, that this will be the right decision.

I sure will miss everyone in this cca,
I hope we can still be gdfrens altho we're nt in th same cca okay!
:)

I know this sounds lame lah, bt bear with me. -.-

To Sheryl: Thnk you capt, fr all th times when you encouraged me. Sorry, fr giving up despite promising you. Altho, tht promise was made long ago, I still rmb it don't know if you do. Bt anyway, sorry. Cause I guess I'm really nt cut out fr basketball and all. Cappppt :)
To Xiangting: Thnkyou monkey! You nvr failed to encourage me and teach me stuffs which I did wrongly. Keep trying to help me improve :) Love yah! Sry, I cldn't tell you on msn tht I quitted, i just dno what you'll say. Scared, Haha. You've been more like a mentor too, ^^ So yeah, thnkyou so much love yaaaaah okay.
To Dorcas: Hey Shiting! Sorry lah, ps you in th cca. Bt anw, you've Ky mah. Jiayou lah, gogogo! You can do it. You play well loh. I sure confirm will miss you lah. You this wierd black chicken. Keep running arnd like chicken de. Haha, and nvr fail to make me laugh. :} Must get in team ah! I know you'll. Tyvm, daddy! Aku cinta kau! (don't give me weird expressions hor. -.-)
To Jiexin: Ahmaaaaa! Sry just so much. Tht despite encouraging me so much and always asking me if i gt go trg before trg and all, I still quit. Haha, I still rmb I forbidded you to quit tht time. Cause really mah, you're a gd player! :D Anyway, I love you okay. Thnkyou fr everything and everything, :)! Must still contact me ah, i don't care.
To Chloe: Hha, I know you're going to quit too. Jiayou :)
To Ruhuan: Helllo! Thnkyou fr being so helpful :] And being a gd frennnn okay! Jyjyjy if you bcome capt or what ah, must tell me haha.
To all other Basketballers (Like Seniors - Yinghui, they all. Corin, claudia, Melissa, Victoria ... Etc.) : Sorry and tyvm fr being such great ppl :} I'll miss y'all okay.

Finally, done. :)