Tired - Physically & Mentally ...

Home on a Saturday's evening.
It's pretty weird to be so ...
I feel like I belong to th outer-world. -.- Nvmind
No, I don't wna turn all sucidal or down again. I'm nt going to settle my agony
Everything's falling to bits.
in th way of trying to hurt myself again. It won't help, it's goddamn silly and foolish too.
I feel like giving up everything lah ...
Th lasttime, aft th whole commotion, I cooled down and forbidded myself on doing tht.
I'm so tired of Human's stuffs . Fatigue, very
Just wish ppl arnd me to be happy, not abt me anymore
Yes - Th mind I've been reduced to this mindset
So I shldn't, anw hadn't I encouraged ppl nt to? So why this mindset yeah?
And I'm starting to think maybe I really changed.
Often, I'd be someone I totally do not want to be.
I've turned to someone which I myself dislike ,
Furthermore , others ?
Hah, ridiculous ain't it? Taking knife, trying to slash but was scared.
.... I'm sucha joke .

Many attempts, but it just cldn't cut thru'. Hesistated attempts.
Y'know, I've so much to relate.
Yet, somethings are stopping me frm saying out.
Just this hesistation, But even wait amin.
Who cares? And who bothers?
Yet again, what's a blog w/o readers?
As in, you'll also lose yr drive to blog.
And aft losing, are you going to bottle everything up?
No, only just probably alittle mark, and aft awhile it was gone, only red.
I'm going bonkers.

In th end, th troubles still weren't solve, so what fr? -.-

... What will happen on tht day?
I don't wish to know, I don't wish to care

I hope I won't be some loser and spoil th whole atmosphere
Will all my wishes come true? Even one?

Dreams are not reality.

How I wish ...

Tht you or even just someone wld tell me

Don't worry, everything's gna be fine,
We're gonna go thru' this tgt,

I'll be right thre fr you, just hold on thre.

But you know it ain't going to happen.

It's time I put my faith. On God.
Maybe, he'll bring me thru'

And grant me, all my happiness

Please. ):

All my life, I've seen too many types of ppl.
And yes their type. And yet it's still hurting.
To see, ppl being once very close and next, distant.
And to yr surprise, you see them acting perfectly fine w/ others. Mayb, yr classmates, ppl you dislike, once yr close fren ... Anything
Then you start realising all their bad points ... Like being a ...

And next, you feel very disappointed. You just wish to turn back th clock, and rather nt know anything. Just be , tht girl.

Cause, sometimes, not knowing is bliss.

-----

J , S , A .
I've been really selfish, very
I keep regretting. On what I've done.
Somethings is nt sorry then th matters settled .
It's all abt th conscience (Sry if it's spelled wrongly) ,
You know tht? And how do I say?
And I shldn't have started, despite anything.
Even if ... thre's this spark of feelings :/

-----

Do you know yet again ,
That I don't actually need those ppl .
But you?

But it's all too late, i guess

I don't wna cry anymore,
I don't wna be tht fragile weak girl.
I want to be th happy-go-lucky Kelly,
filled w/ much happiness, laughters and craziness.

Don't tell me it's all a thing of th past,
cause I don't need yet another memory.
I've enough of memories, way too many