I'm so tired

I think I'm such a loser.
I think I always like making small matters, big.
I think I'm always thinking far too much
I think ... I've so much more flaws!

Anw, I'd alrd find no reason in being online in msn.
I guess I'll start appearing offline, more frequently like ev'ryday.
So yeah, you can still contact me offline.
Just fr some reasons, I'm going be offline!
Mayb, I'll go online again! (:D/:()

This year is a very sad one, indeed
I feel like, ...

Y'know, I'm such a irritating person, (Like seriously)
When I've no mood or when I'm bored this is what I do:
- Find some ppl and talk alot of crap
- Do some super ridiculous stuffs
- Be like some hyper ass
- At thre keep laughing (online)
- Oh, and lots more. I'm sure you've experience it yrself.

So, I agree tht being online less is a btr option!
Okay tell me what's not.

I'm so lame.
And I don't feel like updating this blog anymore!
Anw life sucks as it is rightnow!
So all my posts will just be sucky , yes .

So well, bid my gdbye ;]
We'll see if this blog's updated

Tht day , will be sucha sad day, a very sad one.
Cause I've actually ruined ev'rything ...
I don't know what I'm being think of by others.
Bet you didn't think I'd be scared to know th truth, did you? :)
I'm like just, this . U - SE - LESS .
I don't know what else to say. :( I'm at a loss of words, like I've a zillion words yet none are coming out. Then in th end, all ain't said, and it all adds on to th prob. Just nw, as I sat thre by th stairs, I felt lost. Very. Even as I sent out those ridiculous msgs, I felt super desperated and helpless - tht feeling, once more. I dno what to do, hw I'd wished ... Yes, and even then, I didn't have th courage to even just die off, (I know this sounds stupid to you, but let me write will you?) I'm scared. I know frm an outsider view, you might just think I'm so ridiculous, fr being so _ over such tiny(?) matters. But if you were so brillant, pls come, be in my shoes. And you'll see. So dying was out, and th thought of running away, it came upon me again. But I didn't know whre to go, what to do. I can't imagine what others will think, what others will feel aft tht. I know ppl who care abt me (Mayb, fam?) will be so worried, bt it just. Wna have some concern tht type of feeling. Doubt you'd understand if I told you. Then aft all th dumb commotion, and a long time ... I came online, then I'd bcome moody again. Cause you see, I feel tht whatever I've done and what I've not done, all intentionally or not, all whether it's me or just playing ... I think I'd make a wrong impression of myself. Fr being so goddamn it childish always and always. Finally, It'd dawned upon Kelly - thbigkid. I guess I'm wrong, always wrong fr doing every single thing. And ... thre's just so much so much to say, bt I can't actually rmb. Hw I wish, i can just let someone go inside me, and see and experience ev'rything yrself. I dno what else to say alrd, but gdbye ... Mayb, you'll hear frm me soon. I'm tired of all th tears, Very tired. I'd think I've continuously cried fr quite long ... I don't rmb since when. And when had I been so happy ... How cld I? I don't rmb alrd. I don't know how to face ev'ryone. I guess, we'll just live one step, move one step. Fred not, this ridiculous part of th post is close to done. I wish fr happiness fr ev'ryone esp my frens and frens frens. Hah, bet you don't understand. Nah, I don't understand me too. And I guess I'd not wna post more. (Anw, no offence if I'd said th wrong thing). On tht day... I really don't want anything, unless I can jsut be happy. Just happy ... Fr th whole day. How I wish I'd just be banged by a car, bt yet not die bt just have a memory failure. Hah! And just rmb all those happy ones. Tht'd be great. And done, this post done. (Three cheers)
Byebye! T'kcare.
-----
Hey, I feel terrible seeing ev'rything go like fuck.
Nabeh. :/ I FEEL LIKE LETTING TH WHOLE WORLD KNOW!!!
:@ k nvmind. Nonsense, nonsense.
Mayb it's all tolerance, until tht day.
And tadah. Suddenly I just feel like ...

Going overseas to study. :O

But it'll nvr happen , i know tht.
I just dno how to face ev'ryone.
Hw I wish they'd be nice ppl, and just forget.
But they're alrd nice, but yet I'm afraid to see.
And see how I'm slowly losing my place. (In ev'ry single shiat)
I'll get use to it. So when I'm back,
I'll be a happy girl. I hope. :)

You won't know, how terrible I feel ...
And you. Y'won't know anything abt hw I ...
Sighs, I feel totally like a weirdo now.
I feel irritable. As I type this, I swear tears can form.
Tht's th state th mind is forced into alrd.
But I'm strong. And I don't need any sympathy.