What do you say, when words are not enough

Sighs, forget it
So it went one big round, and when i thought it was fine, it wasn't. Infact, it turned from bad to very worse
All the misunderstandings , all all all
I don't know where to pick them up
I don't know where to start explaining myself
I'm just this lazy to explain everything clearly, and that's why in the end everything doesn't work out
But to me, knowing the whole story, being the middle person ...
I know ... I know everything
:( I thought it was okay alrd, i thought so
All that I wanna say to both parties is ... I never change, i just ... Don't wanna explain myself anylonger. You know how hurting it is? I'd learn, to tolerate, to accept all th words and not say anything back. To listen. Sometimes when I've finally open and explain, you'll cut be in, you'll. I'm not living in the past. I'm not. I always do not wish to aggitate things worse, thus, i keep my mouth shut. Not explaining
Today. It was a dispute with mother again.
Next, I saw ... And I ...
anylonger, cause in the end, it'll all be deemed as excuses. It'll all be deemed as ... whatever you say. So all the misunderstandings, all the accusations they come on to me , by both parties. And i, still remain my mouth shut. With tears rolling. I'm tired. It's not, I've changed ... It's just, you and you, just don't bother to listen to me. All i can do is cry. What all of you, ALL, think ... Is i've changed to what they call ahlians, but did you know that i've never?
Update again when I'm back
I'm still that Kelly, a whole lot emotional one. & no, one thing i never did say, that is ... My mum told me, that she didn't meant
Maybe, w/o my presence, things wld had been better.
anything she said.She said it in anger, but she said she didn't refer to you all, she was just saying it, like a comment or some sorta. I don't know if it'd make any diff anyw, but just, i'm not finding an excuse.. It hurts to see everything drift like this,