4th time...

How do i express my disappointment w myself right now? Disappointment is an understatement. It's almost like frustration to tears. What, what is this Kelly Ng? Skipping school again cause you're late? What 5 times late alr, the next is what, internal suspension? Why can't you fucking leave house on time? why can't you fucking not be late?

WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING IT AND CRYING OVER SPILLED MILK.

Don't you realise it's nothing. It's not doing anything, it's not.. I feel so helpless now. I feel like giving up on myself, what an horrendous girl i am.. but i don't bear to give up, i don't bear to waste my life like this. I want to do something abt it. But after all my empty promises, empty commitments, empty words.. it all doesn't mean anything anymore. Who will believe you and trust in you already? What's the point of having a fucking blog when you blog and swear that you'd change but... this. What a change man, way to go.

I'm so damn bloody useless. I'm not a friggin' ahlian, i'm not one who skip school and feel good abt it. I want to go school, i promised myself i'd go school everyday.. esp this year onwards. but look what happen? I skipped school, 4 times alr. All, cause i'm late. It's such pathetic that i'm late and i've to skip school. Fucking pathetic, and i don't fucking deserve to cheerup, to be excused. I wish i can be in self-remorse for as long as possible, until then i guess i will really change. When's my lesson learnt?

You know what's worse? i went to use my bro's laptop until i'm late. How very stupid. You don't know how i feel like giving myself a good whack right now.

Forget it, what difference does it make blogging

Forget it, what difference does it make making this known to people

I have to change. I really have to change, i hate myself, this horrible monster

I can do so much better, i know it myself

... but what did i do? I'm destroying myself like this

How does it feel.. when even you yourself don't believe in yourself

When i'm not even sure if i can keep to my promise..

when i'm afraid to give my word anymore