友情

Ok maybe this is just fate -.-, I wrote this very long essay but I pressed the wrong thing and instead, deleted it.

Hey you are not getting my point. No one is saying you don't have rights to be angry or upset, but you shouldn't jump into conclusions. You shouldn't give up the friendship so easily, you could have place your faith in our friendship. This is no longer about face or what's not, lady.

So now you're just pushing everything to me, telling me that I'm just an extra. You know what? Thanks so much. So all this while, I've been like a fool. I've cherished our friendship, treated you like a bestfriend, and just.. god, this hurts. Maybe this is the way you handle things, always. Use the hurt you feel and inflict it onto others. Why must you make me feel like treating you as a bestfriend wholeheartedly was a big mistake? Why make me feel like I was the one who let myself be hurt? Cause only someone who means something to you can hurt you.

So after trying so hard to compress all the unjustice I feel, hide bad memories, and not mention about the past, this is what I get from you. That you don't even treat me like a bestfriend, a close friend. Maybe you wouldn't remember, wouldn't remember how you treated me last time. Of course you wouldn't because the hurt done, you did not experience it. It's none of your business cause it's not you who have to handle with the tears, the sorrows, everything. But for me? I had to deal with them. It's not something that I can just swallow down and forget it, no matter how I try. But still, I tried my best. I tried to forget the past and never mentioned it. And in the end, I just earned a reopened wound. A wound that have been enlarged, magnified at the pain inflicted.

What could we have done when everytime we took a step forward, you moved another backwards? You say we two were close, very close, but think. We three used to be close too, but you forsaked us, went with your own friends. What were we to do? We still had to carry on with our lives though its left with only two of us. Eventually, of course our friendship became closer. But still, we never abandoned you. However, though we try, you were always distant away from us already. So near and yet so far. And yes, you two were close before. But hey, are you sure that without my presence, things wouldn't have change? Changes are unevitable. What you're trying to say now is you shouldn't be making new friends because you might actually click with the person and become bestfriend.. Cannot! You cannot be close to a person who clicks with you, because that person was once bestfriend with another, although not say you didn't treat that person as a goodfriend too, but still, you cannot do that because everything can only happen in the past, nothing can change. The past is the past, the present, the future. You can only live in it, you can't change a damn thing. The world belongs to only you, time will stop for you.

I have forgot the other contents, but I think it's enough. Please know that if I didn't cherish this friendship, I wouldn't be spending time writing this post or the post before. I wouldn't waste my time, because I wouldn't care. But because I do cherish you as a friend, I can't do that. That is just not my principle. I can't do anything longer if you continue taking offences, I'll just have to wait for the day when things return to origin state. Although things have come to sucha sour state, I still do not want to lose you as friend, even though it seemed so easy for you to give us up. After the storm comes the rainbow. I'll wait for the storm to disappear, then one day, I know we'll be fine. No matter what I've said, you're still always my friend. No matter what you've said, you'd made a difference in my life. No matter what happens, you'd been my bestfriend. It's only whether you want to make it a past, or let the fact continue.

For us, I know we'll be there for you no matter what. If you choose to let this ridiculous matter ruin our friendship, I've nothing to say. Because the post before was for the purpose of peacemaking, I do not know why things have come to this extent. If you still insist with your decision, one day when you've changed your mind, I believe we'll still be there. 'Cause you're still our friend. Once was, forever is.

Fyi: It takes a lot of will to forgive and forget. And if you just continue hurting, I wonder how far this gets. I really hope things will get better, it's all your choice already. No obligations. Things will not change unless actions are taken. And jealousy gets nobody anywhere, I was jealous of many things before and it got me no where. How can we offer our ears when you're not willing to open your mouth? My friend, if you're willing to open up to us, we'll be all ears to you. Seriously. You didn't lost a bestfriend, she was always there for you. Only that when you thought you did, you closed yourself up and never opened yourself to her, to us.

God forgives me, I should forgive others